For Nichola, fostering was never something unfamiliar. It was simply part of family life…
She grew up in a fostering family and spent years supporting her parents care for children before becoming a foster parent herself. Her husband had a similar upbringing, and together they understood from an early age the difference a stable, supportive home could make to a child’s future.
But it wasn’t only her personal experience that shaped her decision to foster. After joining the police, Nichola spent around 15 years working in child protection and safeguarding roles, often supporting vulnerable children and young people. Seeing the challenges many children faced reinforced something she had always believed.
Nichola explained: “It becomes quite clear that children don’t get to make a choice in their future outcomes. When you see the life cycle of those children and families, you just feel like you could offer a better opportunity.”
That belief stayed with her, and it was while on a career break with her son, Nichola and her husband applied to become foster parents. They welcomed their first child into their home soon afterwards, beginning a fostering journey that has now spanned nearly a decade.
Today, both Nichola and her husband have retired from their previous careers and foster full-time, caring for four boys alongside their own son.
Growing a family through fostering
Over the years, Nichola’s family has grown through fostering, with children joining at different stages and gradually becoming part of the household.
At one point, the family were caring for a teenage girl. As she prepared to move on to university, another child joined the family. Later, a sibling group arrived. While the dynamic has sometimes been busy, Nichola says the children quickly formed strong bonds.
“I don’t think you would know they’ve ever lived without each other. They’ve become quite sibling-like. If somebody says something unkind to one of their group, they’re straight in to let you know and stand up for each other.”
Like most siblings, they have their disagreements. Nichola explains: “They have the normal squabbles that siblings have. Who’s doing this? Why have they got that? That’s not fair.”
Learning to trust
Although Nichola entered fostering with extensive personal and professional experience, she says one of the biggest lessons has been understanding the emotional impact care can have on children.
“I think we really underestimate the challenge for a child to be taken away from their family situation and placed with strangers.”
Everything changes for a child entering care, from the people around them to the sounds, smells and routines of daily life. It really is a slow process of getting them settled and helping them believe in you.”
Building trust takes patience, consistency and understanding. Nichola believes it’s important to remember that progress rarely happens overnight.
“Sometimes the things they throw at you emotionally can be a bit of an eye-opener, but it’s one of those things that you endure. We’re clear on what our boundaries are within our home. They’re not draconian, but they’re clear. It’s a long slog sometimes, but they’re just kids. They’re still learning.”
Her Fostering Highlight
When asked about her proudest fostering moment, Nichola doesn’t hesitate. “We had a teenage girl who came to live with our family who was struggling with confidence, self-belief and challenges at school. However, we could see so many strengths with her. We were having intelligent conversations with her. She was thoughtful, she had a great vocabulary, and we couldn’t understand why that wasn’t coming through at school.”
Over time, those conversations helped her begin to see her own potential. “She started to believe in herself. The transformation was remarkable. Her predicted GCSE grades had been among the lowest, but she went on to achieve outstanding results, secure a place at university and study social work. Today, she has graduated and secured a role as an adult mental health social worker. To go from not believing in herself to suddenly believing she could do it and then doing it. Now look at her.”
Their relationship didn’t end when she left care. With both of her birth parents having passed away, Nichola and her family remain an important part of her life.
Nichola explains: “We’re essentially her grown-ups in the world. We still visit one another regularly and recently celebrated her graduation together. My son sees her as his sister.”
FCA Support
Having grown up around FCA, Nichola already knew the agency well before becoming a foster parent herself with FCA Thames Valley.
Her parents have fostered with FCA for decades, and she remembers seeing first-hand how social workers supported the whole family, not just the children in care.
That strong support network was one of the reasons Nichola chose FCA. She explains: “I just felt it was a better offer and there was more support there. When you do have a challenge, you’ve got somebody you can go to. You feel like you have a voice”
She also highlights the ongoing support children receive through FCA events and activities.
“The kids get to meet other kids in the same situation as them. Many of the friendships formed through FCA have lasted for years. Our boys have got best friends within FCA that they really look forward to seeing.”
Inspired by Nichola’s story?
Do you want to make a real difference in the lives of children and young people by becoming a foster parent?
Call us today on 0800 098 4156or submit an enquiry form to learn more about fostering with FCA, including our reliable, wrap-around support for your whole family, full training, and generous fostering allowances.
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