Tim isn’t your stereotypical foster dad – he’s a biker, former doorman, and has a well-established beard.
He and his wife Claire have been fostering with FCA West Midlands for more than 12 years, and in that time, their journey has taken them in many unexpected directions.
From why they chose fostering and how it all began to challenging outdated stereotypes and encouraging others not to write themselves off as foster parents, Tim shares his fostering story and words of wisdom for those thinking about joining him in transforming young lives.
“Having kids was impossible”
In 2008, Tim fought testicular cancer and the treatment he received meant that he was unlikely to be able to conceive a biological child. Not only that, but he and Claire had reservations about bringing a child into this turbulent world, so they decided fostering was their route into experiencing parenthood.
Tim said, “We didn’t have any children of our own before fostering. My first child was a foster child, and she was a bridesmaid at our wedding and even came on our ‘family moon’.”
12 years on, the couple have a biological son, have adopted one of the children they fostered, and are fostering a teenager, even converting their garage a few years ago to make more space for children and teenagers who need a loving home.
“I’m not your average foster parent”
The average age of a foster parent is 54, and of these, around 80% are female. Many are empty nesters and often transition from professions closely linked to fostering, such as social care, nursing, and teaching.
Tim is challenging these norms, he said, “I’m not your average foster parent because I have a beard, love motorbikes and used to be a doorman; people don’t expect you to go from that to fostering.”
“I suppose when someone thinks about a foster parent, they probably imagine a sweet older lady with grown-up children who lives round the corner, but that’s not our experience of fostering, it’s one of the most diverse groups of people you can imagine.”
“I don’t look like a typical foster parent, and when our most recent foster daughter arrived, she was definitely a bit intimidated by me. She even told me that. But now we know each other, and she’s just part of the family.”
“Don’t write yourself off as a foster parent just because you don’t fit the conventional demographic. You’ll have something to bring to these children, regardless of your background, age, or gender.”
“I don’t care how old the kid is; I just want to change a life.”
Tim and Claire don’t let anything faze them. Their fostering journey has taken many twists and turns, with one of the biggest being that they were down to foster children over 12 but ended up fostering a baby, whom they later adopted.
Tim explained, “We were always down to foster kids aged over 12 because they’re more independent – they can get themselves dressed, feed themselves, and take the bus to school.”
“That all changed one afternoon, when we got a phone call about a baby. They were like, ‘We’ve got a baby… It’s an emergency. Can you have her?’ And I immediately said, ‘Yes, of course we can’ because how can you say no?”
“I said I wanted a teen that I wouldn’t have to feed and parent like a baby. And look what happened. We ended up adopting her. At the end of the day, I don’t care how old the kid is; I just want to change a life.”
“Just do it. What have you got to lose?”
Every year, around 39,000 children enter care, but there is a shortage of more than 6,000 foster parents to care for them.
Tim is urging those who have room in their heart and home to come forward and help bridge this gap, he said: “Just do it. What have you got to lose?”
“Yes, it can be challenging, and you’ve got to be open-minded, but it is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I love it, and if I get the chance to do it again in a second life, I will.”
“It might be for you, it might not. But unless you do it, you won’t know.”
Inspired by Tim’s Story? Get in touch
If, like Tim and Claire, you’d like to make a difference to vulnerable children and young people by becoming a foster parent, call us on 0800 023 4561 or submit your details via our enquiry form.
Our experienced team will take you through the initial requirements and answer any burning questions you may have.
You can also find out more about the ins and outs of fostering with FCA by checking out our blogs and reading more of our fostering stories, right here online.
More fostering stories:
Speak to our team
Whether you’re ready to start your journey or just want to chat to one of our friendly fostering advisors, get in touch with us today.
Enquiry Form
The company takes the requirements of GDPR seriously in ensuring the privacy and lawful processing of personal data provided to us by you. Please view our privacy notice which explains how the company will manage and use your personal data. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.