Fostering as an Older Couple: Petrolyn and Royston’s Story
Foster mum Petrolyn, 72, and her husband Royston, 94, who have been fostering for over 5 years with FCA South East. This experienced couple share their insights on what makes fostering teenagers so rewarding, the unique challenges of caring for unaccompanied asylum-seeking children and what it’s like to foster as an older couple.
Petrolyn enjoyed a storied 16-year career in mental health support before she and her husband were approached by their Local Authority to begin fostering.
“Roy and I were out shopping in town one day, just holding hands and enjoying our stroll, when a man representing the Local Authority stopped us. He said we looked like such a happy, lovely couple, and had we ever considered fostering? We laughed at that— though Roy is lucky enough to look very young and is very fit and healthy, he was 90 at the time. ‘We’re too old,’ I said!”
“It turns out, I was wrong— we looked into it a little more, and learned that fostering really is for everyone. We’ve got a lovely big home, and Roy and I decided that we could do a lot to help children by opening up our doors.”
Making a safe home for teens in care
“Since then we’ve transferred to FCA, and I can’t count how many children and young people we’ve been able to help. We’ve offered many types of fostering, including emergency and respite fostering, but now we mostly foster teenagers and children who have travelled to the UK alone seeking asylum.”
“For us, there’s nothing quite like fostering teenagers. We tend to welcome children who are between 15-18 years old. I find that’s a time in their lives where they’re particularly vulnerable to the world around them, and you can make a real difference in keeping them on a safe and happy path. You can help them find their independence, teaching all sorts of skills from cooking to running a house. It’s a really rewarding role, and as an older couple, it suits us much better than running around after little ones!”
Caring for unaccompanied asylum-seeking children
Petrolyn and Roy specialise in caring for children who arrive unaccompanied in the UK, seeking refuge and a safe place to call home.
“Fostering unaccompanied children is very rewarding. It’s mostly teenagers who come to the UK looking for a better life. We help them get into school or college, get registered with a dentist and a doctor’s surgery, and help them out with any legal affairs while they go through the process of claiming asylum. There’s a huge social aspect to it, too, like helping them to find their place within the community, and to access places of worship or youth and sports clubs where they can make new friends.”
“One of the biggest challenges we find is that the children who come to stay with us often speak very little English. It gives us a chance to bond as we help them to learn a new language, and there’s always plenty of laughter as we try to learn words in their language too and pronounce them terribly wrong! You go on a real journey with these children. It’s amazing to help them find their feet and succeed, watching on proudly as they going on to pursue careers, further education and independent living.”
Finding family through fostering
“We keep in touch with every single child that has lived with us,” Petrolyn said, reflecting fondly on all the children who she and Roy have provided with a loving family home. “I’ve never experienced anything more rewarding than what we’ve built with our current foster child. He’s been with us for three years— when he first arrived, he couldn’t speak a word of English, and now he thrives at school and has really come out of his shell. He loves music and plays the guitar beautifully. He’s also an amazing chef.”
“He’s one of the best people that I have around me. He is my family. We have become his Mum and Dad, and that is what he calls us. He feels so at home with us. I know that whatever amazing things he chooses to do with his life, he will always come back here to visit, because this is his home. Fostering has given us the best gift that we’ve ever had, one that we never expected— a son.”
The qualities of amazing foster parents
We asked Petrolyn what she believes makes someone capable of becoming a great foster parent. She said:
You have to be understanding, kind, and empathetic. You also have to be a good listener, and be courageous so that you can advocate for the children you care for. Fostering could be a great role for you if you’re a people person—you’ll learn so much from the children you meet, and you’ll get to experience different cultures. It’s all about being loving, really. After all, you are inviting a young person into your home to share it with you. Give them all the love you can give.
“For us FCA has been a good agency and they’ve really looked after us. There’s a local support group I attend regularly which is filled with really strong, knowledgeable foster parents who have helped me out when I’ve needed guidance. You only have to pick up the phone to speak with the FCA team to get all the advice and support you need, which I really appreciate.”
Could you foster a child?
Are you ready to begin fostering like Petrolyn and Roy? No matter your background, fostering is for everyone, and it has no upper age limit. We’d love to speak with you if you’re interested in becoming a foster parent— simply reach out to our team today, and we’ll help you get started.
