When you don’t feel like yourself, it can feel like you’re not in control of your own thoughts and emotions, but talking to someone about what’s going on is the first step to feeling like yourself again.
Sharing your feelings doesn’t make you ‘weak’ or ‘crazy’, it makes you human. And when you’re dealing with the stresses of everyday life, alongside the challenges of being in care, it can feel like a lot, and talking can lift the weight.
That’s why, in this blog, we’re taking a closer look at what mental health actually means, why talking helps, and how to start the conversation.
What mental health really means
Every single person on this planet has mental health in the same way as they have physical health. Physical health affects how our bodies function, whereas mental health impacts our mind – our inner thoughts, feelings, and how we relate to others.
Sometimes you might feel under the weather, perhaps when you have a cold, and need to rest for a few days, and other times you might need more help from a doctor and could be admitted to the hospital, such as if you break your leg.
The same can be said for mental health. There might be times when you feel a little stressed or low, such as when you’re revising for exams or if you fall out with a friend, and spending time doing something you love helps you feel better. But sometimes things can pile on top of you and begin to feel like too much to handle, and you may need a little extra help from your foster family, friends, and medical professionals.
Don’t ignore your feelings
Both mental and physical health need to be maintained and cannot be ignored, even if you try, because eventually your body or mind will say, ‘enough is enough’. However, opening up to someone you trust can prevent it from getting that far. Next, we explore why.
Why talking about it matters
As a child or young person living in care, you’ve already been through a lot, and maybe had no choice but to handle more than you should have on your own. But that doesn’t mean that you have to continue facing everything alone now. There are so many people around you who care about your well-being and are ready to listen when you’re ready to talk.
Trusting other people with your inner world can feel scary, and you might wonder how they’ll react, if they’ll understand, or whether they’ll be able to help you. But the truth is, they’ve likely experienced mental health struggles of their own (according to Mind, 1 in 4 people experience mental health problems each year) and are not going to judge you; instead, they’ll want to help you in whatever way they can.
It helps you get the support you need
Whether you choose to speak to your foster parents, social worker, teacher, friends, or just someone who feels safe, talking can help your thoughts and emotions feel less intense.
Reaching out also means you can get the support you need, which could be anything from just needing someone to vent to regularly or a little advice, to someone who can signpost you to the right support.
How to talk about your mental well-being
Talking about your mental well-being can feel big, so if you’re looking for ways to start the conversation, here are our tips:
- Pick a person: Choose someone you trust and that you know can support you. That could be your foster parents, social worker, a teacher, or friend.
- Write notes: It’s easy to forget what you were going to say when you’re deep in conversation, so write a few notes that will jog your memory about how you’ve been feeling, if something has triggered it, and what support you need.
- Choose a time and place: If talking one-to-one feels too overwhelming, you could share your thoughts while you’re walking alongside each other or are engaged in another activity, such as cooking. This can make conversations feel less intense and more natural. It’s also a good idea to pick a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted and can hear each other speak.
- Tell them how you’re feeling: Focus on yourself by using ‘I’ statements, such as ‘I’ve been finding things a lot lately’, ‘I’ve been feeling low’, or ‘I’m struggling’. Try to give them as much information as possible. For example, if it’s impacting your sleeping or eating habits, if it only occurs when you’re at school, or if something like bullying has triggered it.
- Let them know what you need: Do you want someone to vent to regularly, a little advice, or more support? It’s okay if you don’t know what you need; the person you speak to may have suggestions, and you could come up with a plan together.
- There’s no rush: Take as much time as you need to express your thoughts and feelings. You don’t have to share everything all in one go either; if it makes you feel more comfortable, you could have a few conversations over several days.
- It’s okay to show emotion: It’s completely normal to cry or show other emotions that your feelings may evoke. Sometimes it can even feel like a release after trying to keep it together and hold everything in.
What will happen next?
What happens next depends on what you need. In most cases, your social worker will be informed because your well-being is their priority. They may advise that you visit the doctors, who might then refer you to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), where you’ll be assessed to help them understand what support you need.
They’ll create a plan for your care, including the treatment you’ll receive, goals for therapy, and support you’ll need from your foster family and school. Don’t worry, the plan will be agreed with you and reviewed regularly to make sure it still meets your needs.
Not everyone will require a referral; some lifestyle or routine changes might do the trick, and if your mental health problem was triggered by a particular issue, tackling that could make things feel a lot easier to cope with. It all depends on your specific needs.
You’re not alone
When your mental health dips, it can feel like you’re alone, but at FCA, you’re not. From your foster parents and social worker to our participation team and all the other children and young people in our care, there is always someone to turn to.
If you’d like to find out more about mental health or if you want to talk to someone, speak to your foster parents or social worker. Here are also a few helpful links to websites that provide a range of support, advice, and resources:
