If you’re facing challenges starting your family, we know how heartbreaking and devastating it can feel.
You may be struggling to come to terms with being unable to conceive through traditional means, but when you’re ready, there are many alternative routes to parenthood that couples can explore.
Although it might not be the road you thought you’d go down, dreams of building a beautiful and loving family can still become a reality. From fertility treatments to fostering, join us as we explore alternative ways to start a family.
Accepting you can’t have a baby conventionally
Before you start researching different ways to have a baby, you may need to take some time to process the idea of not having children or another child in the traditional way.
How you do this looks different for every person, but giving yourself time to contemplate can help you recognise which route into starting or growing your family would be most suitable for you.
You may find it beneficial to talk to a therapist or counsellor who can help you work through your feelings and find a way to accept your circumstances before exploring your choices.
Alternative ways to have a family
Whether you’re a couple, single or LGBTQIA+, there are many options to consider. Each one will have its own pros and cons, so deciding the route that is right for you will be down to your personal experiences and preferences.
1. Fertility Treatments
If you haven’t already, speak to a fertility specialist. They will be able to assess whether you or your partner has any underlying health conditions that could make conceiving more challenging. The fertility doctor may then recommend surgery, medication, or assisted conception to help you and your partner have better chances of conceiving.
Surgery
- In some cases, your doctor may advise surgery, such as:
- If you’re a woman and have a condition like endometriosis, fibroids, or blocked fallopian tubes.
- If you’re a man and have a condition such as a blocked epididymis, which can affect ejaculation.
- If you’re a man, they may extract sperm if you have had an unsuccessful vasectomy reversal or have a condition that prevents sperm from being released.
Please bear in mind that although surgery might be a good option for you, it isn’t a guarantee that you’ll be able to conceive.
Like with any surgery, there will be risks involved, but your doctor should talk these through with you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about recovery times, success rates, and pain management so you can make an informed decision.
Fertility Medication
Another option doctors might consider is prescribing fertility medications. Here are some scenarios where this might happen:
- If you don’t ovulate every month or at all, medications such as Clomifene, Tamoxifen, or Gonadotrophins might be prescribed to encourage ovulation.
- If you have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), a doctor may prescribe Metformin to reduce insulin levels that can impact ovulation.
- If you’re a man with low sperm mobility, Gonadotrophins might be prescribed to stimulate the production of sperm.
Although fertility medications could help you conceive a child, you may experience side effects when taking them, and they aren’t always suitable for everyone. If a medical professional does suggest this kind of treatment, take time to reflect on whether it is the right pathway for you before agreeing to go ahead.
Assisted Conception
If you’re a heterosexual couple, a same-sex couple, or a single woman, assisted conception could help you conceive.
Assisted conception procedures include:
- In vitro fertilisation (IVF): This procedure involves harvesting an egg and sperm from each partner or donor before combining them in a laboratory. If the combination is successful, embryos are implanted into the woman’s uterus.
- Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI): This procedure is similar to IVF, but instead of allowing the sperm to fertilise the egg on its own, the sperm is injected directly into the egg.
- Intrauterine insemination (IUI): sperm from a male partner or donor is inserted directly into the uterus when the woman is ovulating.
The NHS offer some assisted conception procedures, depending on whether you meet the eligibility criteria in your local area. Criteria can include age, amount of time you’ve been trying to conceive, and having no children. If you don’t meet the criteria, you may be able to receive treatment through a private clinic.
Like fertility medication and surgery, assisted conception comes with risks that your doctor should discuss with you before you go down this route.
2. Fostering
For many people who are unable to have children biologically, fostering gives them the chance to experience family life while making a life-changing difference to a child or young person.
As a foster parent, you’ll care for children who are unable to live with their birth families, helping them move forward by offering them stability, guidance, and support. It’s more flexible than adoption and the only family-building option where you’ll receive an allowance to care for a child.
There are many types of fostering, and signing up with an independent fostering agency like ours will provide you with the most options. Whether you give children and young people a temporary home in an emergency or a permanent home as a long-term foster parent, fostering will change your life and theirs.
FCA foster mum Tiffany started her fostering journey in 2024 after she and her partner struggled to conceive for a couple of years, and they have never looked back.
Tiffany said, “Every small moment makes fostering special. The girls moved in with us mid-summer holidays, so we took them to the beach, and we found out that it was their first time. Seeing their faces light up – in the sand, building sandcastles, just being themselves and having so much fun – was incredible.” Read Tiffany’s fostering story.
We’ll explore fostering in more detail later in this guide.
3. Surrogacy
If you’re a same-sex couple, if pregnancy poses health risks, or if it isn’t possible to carry a pregnancy to term, surrogacy could be an option for you. Surrogacy means selecting a woman who is both healthy and willing to carry your baby and give birth to them.
Many couples choose someone they know, while others work with a fertility clinic to select a suitable surrogate they’ve never met before. An embryo is either donated or created by the parents before being implanted into the surrogate’s uterus.
Although surrogacy is legal in the UK, you can only pay for a surrogate’s expenses. When they give birth to your child, they will have parental responsibility until you have applied for a parental order or adopted the child.
4. Adoption
Adoption is where you become the legal parents of a non-biological child, and the rights of the birth parents are removed and transferred to you. It’s a wonderful way to build your family and give a vulnerable child a loving, new home.
With adoption, there are children and young people of all ages who need new homes and families, from newborn babies up to older teenagers.
To adopt, you need to apply through an adoption agency, and there is a two-stage process that takes about six months to complete. If approved, the agency will try to match you with a child, followed by a few weeks of planned introductions. If everything is successful, the child will move into your home.
This table shows the differences between the options we’ve provided, making it much clearer to compare them and decide which route may be best for you and your family.
| Option | Time to Start | Cost | Flexibility | Support |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| IVF | Long | High | Low | Medical |
| Adoption | Long | Medium | Low | Agency |
| Fostering | Faster | Paid | High | ✅ Ongoing |
Why fostering could be right for you
Of all the family-building options available, fostering is unique because not only will you get to experience the rewards of parenthood, but you’ll also help the most vulnerable children and young people in society by providing them a safe, stable, and loving home.
There’s currently a shortage of around 6,000 foster parents in the UK, which means children who’ve already been through the unimaginable face being separated from their siblings, living far from the communities they know, or living in residential care.
There are a lot of misconceptions about fostering, which can put people off choosing it as a way to build their family. So let’s look at the facts so you can make an informed decision about whether becoming a foster parent is a viable route into parenthood for you.
What are the requirements to foster a child?
One reason many people choose fostering is its accessibility. You can apply whether you’re single, married, in a same-sex relationship, already have children or have experienced fertility challenges yourself.
All you need to do is meet the following initial criteria:
- You must be over 21
- You must have a spare bedroom
- You must have the legal right to live and work in the UK
- A passion for changing the lives of vulnerable children and young people
Do you need previous parenting experience?
No, you don’t need previous parenting experience to become a foster parent. At FCA, you’ll receive 24/7 support from fostering experts, and when you join us, you’ll enrol in our professional training programme where you’ll learn everything you need to know about looking after a foster child.
You’ll also benefit from the following:
- Generous fostering allowances: To cover the expenses of having a child in your care and reward you for your hard work and dedication.
- Bonuses: Every year, you’ll receive a summer and winter bonus.
- Rewards: You’ll have easy access to discounts to cut the costs of days out, meals, and groceries.
- Our Stars Scheme: This exclusive scheme acknowledges, rewards and appreciates all our foster parents.
- Activities & Events: From the Big Sing Off to coffee and cake, we organise activities and events so you can make friends, have fun and enjoy life as a foster parent.
Is fostering hard?
Like parenting, fostering can be challenging at times, but the difference is the support you receive. While some parents have a village to lean on, that’s not the case for every family, especially if relatives live far away or have other commitments.
But when you foster with FCA, support comes as standard from the very moment you enquire. Fostering is not something you do alone; it’s a community effort, and we’ll make sure you have the support you need whenever you need it.
We call it Team Parenting, and it includes specialist input from fostering professionals, such as social workers, education leads, a participation team, and therapists. You’ll also have lots of opportunities to get to know other foster parents in your local area.
How long will the application process take?
It takes around four to six months to become a foster parent and involves six steps:
- Enquiry: Get in touch with our team by phone or online. We’ll answer your questions and explain what fostering involves.
- Home Visit: A fostering advisor will visit your home (or arrange a virtual call) to get to know you and talk through your situation.
- Application: If you’re ready, you’ll complete an application form, and we’ll begin background checks and references.
- Fostering Assessment: A social worker will work closely with you to understand your experience, lifestyle, and support network.
- Training: You’ll complete expert-led training designed to prepare you for real-life fostering situations – so you feel confident from day one.
- Panel & Approval: An independent panel will review your application before a final decision is made.
Can I try fostering before committing?
Fostering isn’t something you can really try before committing. But you can learn more about what it’s really like by reading our foster parent stories.
You might also consider providing respite foster care before opening your home to a child for a longer term. Respite care is typically arranged in advance, and you’ll look after a child for a few nights up to two weeks while their full-time foster parents take a break.
You’ll still need to complete the same application and assessment process, but it means that if you decide that you’d like to offer long-term foster care, you’ll already be approved.
Can you adopt a foster child?
The goal is always to reunite foster children with their birth parents if and when it’s considered safe to do so; however, that doesn’t always happen. If you foster a child long-term, you may form a beautiful bond to the point where adoption makes sense.
Although it is not always straightforward, adopting a foster child is possible. You’d need to speak with your foster agency and social workers about your intentions, as ultimately, it will come down to what’s best for the child.
Want to foster a child or learn more about fostering?
Fertility struggles or being unable to conceive through traditional means can be challenging for anyone who longs to start or grow a family. But now that you’re aware of some possible pathways to parenthood, you can reflect on which route is best for you.
Fostering offers a wonderful opportunity to experience parenthood while also transforming the future of a child who needs your support. For many people facing fertility challenges, it can become a fulfilling and rewarding way to grow a family and create lasting bonds.
If you want to learn more about becoming a foster parent or have any questions about the process, download our guide, Fostering 101: The Beginner’s Guide to Fostering a Child.
You can also contact our friendly and supportive team, who will gladly answer any questions you have on 0800 023 4561 or by submitting your details via our online form.
Short Term Fostering
Short term fostering is caring for a child on a short term basis. However, this can be from a few nights or weeks up to a couple of years.
Long Term Fostering
This type of fostering placement is usually arranged when a child cannot return to their birth family and would benefit from a single stable family environment up until adulthood.
Emergency Fostering
Emergency fostering provides short term care for children and young people who are in urgent need of a safe and secure home.
Respite Fostering
Respite foster placements are very short – often just a couple of days – and are arranged to provide a break to a child’s parents or main foster family.
Parent and child fostering
A type of foster placement that helps support young people who have become a parent at a young age. The foster parent’s role will be to assess and support the young parent in nurturing and raising their child.
Step down fostering
This type of fostering is designed to help young people make the transition from residential care to a family home.
Sibling Fostering
Keeping brothers and sisters together after being placed in foster care is crucial. This type of foster placement focuses on matching sibling groups with foster parents who have the space and skills to care for them.
Foster placements for disabled children
A short-term respite placement aimed to provide the carers of children with a physical, learning or sensory disability, with a short break from their responsibilities. This type of fostering can range from a few hours to a whole weekend.
Fostering for sanctuary-seeking children
When a child seeks asylum in the UK without a suitable adult to care for them, a sanctuary-seeking foster placement is set up to ensure the child is safe and has access to the specialist care and support they may need while they apply for refugee status.
