Being in foster care can bring lots of changes such as new homes, new schools, new friends. And sometimes, it can mean dealing with bullying. First things first: it’s not your fault, and you don’t have to face it alone. This blog will help you identify what kinds of behaviour count as bullying, and the practical ways you can access support and put a stop to it.
Bullying can feel scary, confusing, and upsetting. If you’re experiencing it, it can sometimes feel like there’s no way out. You might feel trapped at school, online, or even around certain people at home or in your foster placement. You might worry about making things worse if you speak up, or feel like no one will believe you. It can make you feel lonely, anxious, or even like something is wrong with you – but none of this is true. Bullying is about the person being hurtful, not you, and there are ways to get help and put a stop to it.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the different types of bullying, so you can spot if you’re experiencing any of them and know what to do next.

What Is Bullying?
Bullying happens when someone repeatedly and intentionally hurts another person or group, and there’s usually a power imbalance. That means the person bullying might have more physical strength, social influence, or just the ability to affect your feelings or reputation.
Bullying can happen face-to-face or online, and it can take many forms:
- Physical bullying: Pushing, poking, kicking, hitting, biting, pinching, tripping, or damaging your things.
- Verbal bullying: Name-calling, teasing, threats, sarcastic comments, spreading rumours, or belittling you.
- Emotional bullying: Excluding you, humiliating you, tormenting you, hiding your belongings, intimidating you, manipulating or coercing you.
- Sexual bullying: Unwanted touching, inappropriate comments, homophobic abuse, or showing you inappropriate films or images.
- Online / Cyberbullying: Nasty messages, sharing photos or videos, posting hurtful comments on social media, or socially excluding you online.
- Indirect bullying: Using other people to hurt you, exploiting you, or turning others against you.
False Friendships
Let’s take a closer look at some of the different types of bullying, so you can spot if you’re experiencing any of them and know what to do next.
Sometimes bullying comes from someone pretending to be your friend. These “false friendships” can be really confusing and hurtful.
Signs of a false friendship:
- They put you down regularly.
- They use your secrets or trust against you.
- They pressure you into things you don’t want to do.
- They’re friendly sometimes, but hurtful at other times.
Tips for handling false friendships:
- Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
- Learn what makes a good friend: kind, supportive, respectful.
- Talk to a trusted adult about your friendships. They can help you figure out what’s healthy.
- Get involved in activities where you can meet new friends, like sports, drama, or music.
- Remember: being bullied by someone you thought was a friend is not your fault.
Baiting and Bullying
Sometimes people use baiting to try to make you angry or react negatively. They might do it online or in person. The goal is to get a reaction, or to manipulate you into getting in trouble.
Here’s what to remember:
What NOT to do:
- Don’t take the bait – don’t react angrily or argue with them.
- Don’t retaliate – it can make the situation worse.
- Don’t try to reason with them while they’re baiting you.
What TO do:
- Recognise baiting for what it is. Knowing it’s a tactic helps you stay calm.
- Remember what they’re doing often isn’t about you – it’s about them.
- Stay calm and remove yourself if possible. Leave the conversation or space.
- Talk to an adult you trust (teacher, foster carer, social worker) and explain what’s happening.
- If falsely accused, calmly explain the truth once.
- Get support – someone who understands your situation can help you make a plan.
What To Do If You’re Being Bullied
Now that we’ve looked at the different ways bullying can show up, here are some practical steps you can take if it’s happening to you:
- Write it down: Keep a record of what happened, when, and who was involved. If it’s online, save screenshots, messages, posts, or emails. This helps adults understand and take action.
- Don’t seek revenge: Sending a nasty message back, trying to embarrass someone, or fighting could get you into trouble or make things worse.
- Get help: Talk to someone you trust – your foster parent, social worker, teacher, or a supportive friend. You don’t have to face this alone.
- Choose your friends wisely: Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. If someone constantly puts you down, they’re not a real friend.
- Take care of yourself: Do things that make you happy – music, drawing, writing, sports, or spending time with friends. You deserve to feel safe and happy.
Remember, you should never have to deal with bullying on your own. At FCA, there’s a whole team around you – from our participation officers, social workers, to your foster parents – all ready to listen, support you, and help put a stop to bullying. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and happy every single day, and there are people who care and will stand by you.