If you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, then you probably want to make sure that you have a healthy relationship with them. But, what exactly is a healthy relationship? Well, the answer to this can depend on a few different things. Since we all have different needs, preferences and expectations, healthy relationships might not all look the same for everybody. For example, some people might need to have shared hobbies with their boyfriend or girlfriend, while others might need more hugs and kisses. These can also change through your life, so what you might need now from your boyfriend or girlfriend as a teenager might be different when you are in your twenties and thirties.
With all that said, there are a few main things that every healthy relationship should have. Whether you have a crush at school, or have met somebody that you have feelings for and are getting into your first relationship, these should always be non-negotiable, or things that you should always have, in a healthy relationship.
Respect
One of the main things to expect from a healthy relationship is respect for each other. This isn’t just in romantic relationships, either. Respect is important for any relationship, whether that’s a family member, a foster parent, or a friend. Respect can mean a lot of different things. For example, you don’t physically harm one another or call each other names in a way that is meant to hurt. When you respect somebody, you care about their thoughts and opinions. For example, if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you show respect when you talk to them first before you make a decision that you know is going to affect them in some way.
Not only should you respect the person that you are in a relationship with, but you should also expect to be respected by them. This means that they should never force or pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do, or hurt you physically or emotionally.
Communication
In healthy relationships, people will usually talk to each other a lot. One of the most important things in a healthy relationship is open and safe communication.
You should feel like you are able to talk to this person about anything without the fear of their reaction. This might be confiding in them about an argument that you are having with a friend, or talking to them about something that they have done that has upset you, even if you know that they probably didn’t mean to. In a healthy relationship, it's important that you are able to listen without judgement even if you have a different opinion to the other person.
Fun
Healthy relationships are also a lot of fun. In a healthy relationship, you should make time to do fun things with one another. This can be different depending on the individuals. Some couples like playing video games together, while others enjoy watching Netflix at home on the sofa with a pizza. Others like doing more adventurous things like rock climbing or hiking. You and your boyfriend or girlfriend do not have to have the same hobbies and interests for the relationship to be healthy.
It’s perfectly OK for you to like something that they are not interested in, and the other way around. But, you should find some things that you can do together that you both enjoy, while respecting each other’s different, separate hobbies that you can do on your own or with friends and family.
Time Apart
In a healthy relationship, spending time together is good. The amount of time that you can spend together might vary based on things like where you live, if you are in school, college, or have a full-time job, and other personal things. But, while you might really enjoy spending a lot of time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, time apart to do things on your own, or spending time with other people is also healthy. Some people will need more time on their own than others. This is perfectly normal.
If you, or your boyfriend or girlfriend just needs to have a few days to yourself from time to time, this doesn’t mean that you don’t love each other or that the relationship isn’t healthy. But, you should always communicate so that you know how long the other person needs to have some personal space for.
Trust
Being able to trust each other is very important in a healthy relationship. People who are in a healthy relationship can trust the other person not to cheat on them when they are apart, and they do not keep secrets from each other. You should know that your boyfriend or girlfriend is telling you the truth, and you should always tell them the truth, too. Trust is more than simply telling the truth and not cheating, though. It also means that you trust your boyfriend or girlfriend to treat you with respect, to be kind to you, and never force you to do something that you don’t want to do. You should trust that they won’t hurt you and that you are safe with them.
Kindness
Kindness and love are important in a healthy relationship. This can be shown in many different ways. Being kind to your boyfriend or girlfriend could mean sending them a text message or calling them to see how they are doing when you are not with them, or getting them a small gift like a chocolate bar or a stuffed animal that you saw and thought they would like. People in healthy relationships also speak to one another kindly. They do not get annoyed and upset with each other for being stressed, tired, or not wanting to do something. Being kind means trying to understand your boyfriend or girlfriend and imagining how they are feeling at the time instead of only thinking about how you are feeling. This is called empathy.
Relationships with other people can be either healthy or unhealthy, especially if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. While all relationships are different, these are some of the main things that make any relationship healthy.
