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Fostering in Northern Ireland
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Foster Care in Northern Ireland with FCA
November 22, 2011
Emily and James had thought about fostering in Northern Ireland in the past, but it was a chance meeting with a vulnerable young person that rekindled their interest and spurred them on to do something about their desire to help.
“I was interested in fostering many years ago when my children were young,” explains Emily. “My aunt had fostered children in England for many years and had adopted a baby girl she was looking after.
“It just wasn’t the right time for us. My daughter was enthusiastic, but my son, who was a very quiet child, was a bit unsure. I had worked in a school for many years before moving to NSPCC, a career path which had given me an insight into the problems and difficulties experienced by children.
The inspiration to foster vulnerable children
It was a chance meeting with a vulnerable girl living in Simon Community accommodation in Bangor that rekindled Emily and James’ interest in helping children.
“At this time both my children were married but didn’t yet have any children of their own,” Emily recalls. “By now, though, my husband and I both felt that our age might be against us. I rang FCA to speak to an ex-colleague from the NSPCC who said that our age was not a concern and that he would send someone out to talk with us. We had a home visit from a lovely, warm-hearted lady from FCA called Connie – and that started the process!”
Emily and James have now been fostering with FCA for three years, and the couple have experienced a number of different types of foster care placements, including respite foster care, which involves looking after young people placed with other foster carers who have needed a short break. They have also cared for a mother and baby on a Parent and Child foster care placement and a teenager who requires complex care due to special needs.
The rewards of fostering in Northern Ireland
Emily and James’ current placement is a young girl who struggles with her education and although they are finding that things can occasionally be difficult, they are also enjoying some of the more rewarding aspects of fostering.
“I just love the times when she comes home from school feeling proud of herself,” says Emily. “For example, she recently received a Headmaster’s Reward for her hard work. This little girl, who missed so much school, and who has always struggled with her learning, managed to read a poem at the annual church Christmas Carol Service held by her school. And there were quite a few teachers wiping a tear from their eyes.”
Life in the family’s household has changed quite a bit since they became foster carers, and Emily and James relate that they have never been so busy – or so organised! They can’t just get up and go out whenever they want; everything has to be planned.
The impact of foster care upon the family
There are times when Emily and James naturally question whether they are doing the right thing.
“At times, I find myself on an emotional roller coaster and there are even times when I question my ability to do this job at all, but I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Emily explains. “If I don’t question my practise, how can I make improvements? And when I get a warm hug from a child who says ‘I love you, you’re the best mum in the world’, I think I must be doing okay.”
As Emily and James know, the role of a foster carer is very varied. One minute they can be performing their everyday roles looking after the child and then they’re off attending meetings with the various professionals involved in the child’s life.
Foster carer support and training with FCA
Over the past three years, the couple has met with a whole host of foster care support workers. These have included social and education professionals, Childcare and Trauma Therapists, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Paediatricians and Occupational Therapists. Each of these, along with the team at FCA Northern Ireland, are supporting the young people in foster care and giving the carers the understanding and knowledge they need to make positive improvements in the lives of the young people they look after.
As Emily tells it, “Without the support in place I would have given up a long time ago. The child in my care is very troubled and trying to understand her is a learning curve for not only us but the professionals involved with her. The regular meetings with my Social Worker and the FCA Therapist have helped me understand the child’s behaviour, a lot of which has resulted from the abuse she suffered in the past.”
Foster carer training has also been invaluable, and Emily has been able to complete her NVQ Level 3 in Child Care. It was specifically the FCA training course on Attachment Disorders and Special Needs that Emily found to be the most beneficial in her current placement. It was this that helped her to recognise and understand behaviours better and to care more effectively for the child.
Could you become a foster carer in Northern Ireland?
According to Emily, before she came to know the child in her care, she would have looked at her case file and simply said, ‘I can’t look after that child.’ However, after a wealth of training and support, she now feels differently.
“After three years, I have a happy troubled child instead of an unhappy troubled child, and despite her troubles, that’s progress. Just when I think nothing has changed, I see little signs of improvement. It’s three steps forward and two steps back but it’s those little signs of improvement that keep me going.
“This is the hardest job I have ever undertaken but it is also the most rewarding. If you are willing, able and in reasonably good health, then I’d say – go for it! Your life will be enriched. If I have any regrets at all, it’s only that I should have become a foster carer many years ago, but if I make a difference in the life of one child then it will all have been worthwhile.”
If you think you could begin fostering in Northern Ireland with FCA, call us today on 0800 023 4561 or enquire online and help us change the lives of children in foster care.
